Recently a friend and I talked via Zoom (is there any other way these days?!) and she coined the phrase “Staying Kind” and I love it (thanks friend xxx).
It’s kind people who inspire me to “Stay Kind” and this blog is about “Leaning in to Kindness” and “Staying Kind” regardless of what others do. Often easier said than done, so “Staying Kind” requires a clear intention, it takes determination and it takes a tribe who “have your back”.
It’s pretty difficult not to be overwhelmed with sadness, infuriation, and fatigue by the divisive, negative and often outright nastiness that circulates around the world. But it is also possible to feel immense gratitude and optimism by the resistance of so many, to this way of being. The recent election of Jacinda Ardern as NZ Prime Minister is, to me, cause for optimism and gratitude. A strong and kind leader – who is achieving so much, not by force or nastiness, but through intelligence, policy, humanity and kindness.
Kindness is a willingness to full-heartedly celebrate someone else’s successes. Kindness is about telling the truth in a gentle way. Kindness includes being kind to yourself.
Kindness in leadership is often seen as weak or naïve but I see it as a huge strength, an act of humanness, decency and one that requires courage. Unfortunately, women who are kind in their work are all too often seen as weak, “will never make it” or as naïve. On the other hand, men who display kindness at work are often regarded as “inspiring” and “compassionate”. Achieving gender equity is a long and tiring quest but one that makes sense for people of any gender. Kindness should be revered and something that we all aspire to, regardless of gender.
My tips for “Staying Kind” in leadership:
- Walk softly with people;
- Be kind and lead with intention and determination;
- Leave people with a feeling of kindness having met / spoken / dealt with you;
- Keep kindness in your heart and give freely;
- Lead with courage, kindness, respect and self-worth;
- Care for others and treat them with kindness; even if they might not care for you;
- Remember that we can accomplish things with kindness which we cannot achieve by force;
- Lean in with others when you see them leading with kindness;
- Celebrate with all kind leaders; regardless of gender;
- Expect and acknowledge kindness from others;
- Be like Elsa and “let it go”; just because others don’t behave in a way that shows kindness doesn’t mean we have to repeatedly ‘go there’;
- Having said be like Elsa… call out acts of unkindness (kindly!) – whether it is at work, in the media or on social media. If not you then who?;
- Remember that being kind is not the same as being weak. It is possible to have difficult conversations and yet still be kind;
- Be kind to yourself and surround yourself with people who are kind.
In my workshops “Conversations With The Curious”, kindness is an absolute expectation and is always shared in bucket-loads. It fills our tanks and makes us feel lighter and optimistic. If you are seeking more kindness in your life, your work and your performance, we would love you to join us for the next workshop or email me on for more information.
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